All I wanted was the beach but..
I recently celebrated my 25th birthday on March 1st (big up my Pisces). Initially I wasn’t planning to do anything extravagant. I figured I’d get together with some friends and family for dinner or a small gathering. Then, I realized that since I migrated to Canada from Jamaica, I’d never experienced my birthday in a warm climate.
Growing up, I was spoilt on my birthdays. Every year my mother would throw me a birthday party, usually at our house, and my cousins, aunts, uncles and friends would come over. One year, I even had a beach party at Lysson’s Beach in St. Thomas (fun fact: the same place Popcaan had his Unruly Fest last year) with my friends from school. I had a blessed childhood thanks to my mother, and being an only child helped. 😉
So, being the determined person I am, I scooped up my coins and booked my flight to Jamaica so I could go to the beach for my 25th birthday. As I embraced a quarter century, I basked in the sun while sipping rum punch and listening to Koffee’s “Toast” on the beach, it was exactly what I wanted. This birthday was significant for me because growing up I had specific ideas/expectations of how my life would look at this age. Just as I do now, I fantasized about my future and it’s posibilities. Honestly, my reality has fallen short of my expectations. However, I’m so grateful for the life that I have. Although I’m not where I though I’d be, I’ve also grown more as a person than I could have even imagined and that’s even better.
My eyes are fixed on who I am/who I am becoming more so than it is on what I have/don’t have. I realize now that I must first become who I need to be before God can even trust me with what he has in store. I’m cool with it. I’m excited to see my goals become a reality but it’s most important to remember that God doesn’t run on my schedule. All I can do is put in the work, be a blessing to others and my blessings will come when the time is right.
To be able to treat myself to a trip home to soak up some vitamin D, all on my own dime, is a blessing. When strangers noticed that I was traveling alone for my birthday they called me brave, unique and empowered. These are words that filled me with pride, especially brave because I’ve been actively working on overcoming social anxiety. Little did I realize that traveling alone was the perfect opportunity to interact with strangers and push myself out of my comfort zone. My goal was to see the beach but I grew so much more as a person by being happy to spend my birthday acknowledging my independence while getting to know some friendly strangers. I specifically planned my trip so that I would be away from family and friends on my actual birthday. I wasn’t looking for a turn up or a hook up, believe me if I wanted those I could have had them. It was just me, God & my goals for the future. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.